Pages

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Let me wish some more.. let me delude myself some more......



One fine morning i woke up and found a bird nestling in my window.. she looked at me and winked.. i can clearly see her smiling and looking at me intently as if she has been sent to me on some errand.. and if not then why she is there.. i wanted to talk to her but was in kind of dilemma.. or say was doubting her ability to speak..while i was preparing myself .. she flew to where i was.. on my bed and perched on the bedside.. and cooed some kind of beautiful song in my ears.. i don't remeber what exactly the words were.. though language was too different and of some unknown world.. but it felt as if they are so familiar and the theme is so dear to my heart. Yeah ! she was singing my song.. song of my loneliness.. my desperations.. my dreams... my heart' desires.. how she came to know all this .. I don't know what hour of morning is that.. but almost daily i see that bird.. perch on my bedside and coos the same melancholic but sweet music in my ears.. what for? what's all this... happening...

Is it a whim.. illusion.. or some dream that i see eyes wide awake....
Or it's some suppressed emotion that' coming out of its confines gradually.. slowly..

I have been to ... melancholic lately... things were not going easy... not in the least way i want them to... Sometimes i wonder what crazy dreams and wishes i have.. i haven't come out of that -fancy-dream-world-where-things-happen-with-a stroke-of-spell-and-wand...
I have imagined things differently.. and i always get something
drastic in different..
why i wish for things that can never be achieved....
"kyun aisi umeed ki maine jo aise nakaam hui...
dur banayi thi majnzil jo raste mein hi shaam hui.."

Don't dishearten me this way.. make my wishes come true Lord.. i confide in Thee.. You have to listen to me.. how long You will make me wait.. yearn in desperation...If i see dreams.. aren't they Your doings..? Tell me.. ?
If 'm this way, Who has made me so..not You...?
And, if thing goes wrong.. it's me responsible.. and if good happens, it's You who showered blessings... why so ?
everyone of us has some failings.. difference lies in concealing and polishing them so that they do not appear so ugly in the face of truth.. after all ro survive in this mortal world one should have twofolds robe.. lest how to survive.. vultures amidst us will scathe us.. rip open our flesh and bare the hard faceted crude reality.. you will not be able to survive if your soul is still in the feet of Lord.. and if it's already being sold to Mephistopheles.. so you are damned wretch.. then .. survival is meant for you.. but for how long .. one day everyone of us will get annihilated.. become the same dust..
aah.. not again.. 'm drifting to somewhere else..
Post a Comment