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Saturday, September 6, 2008

Khalish dhadkanon ki mit na saki....

Life has always been interesting to me.. aaha.. how much this phrase resembles me and my character...
I haven't changesd a bit.. why ask others.. when we are the best judge for ourselves.. haa..
seriously .. i haven;t changed... i never mention her name anywhere.. i never write about her.,. speak of her.. never even introduce her in any talk or memory.. even nostalgia seems to be wary of her... But.. she has... always been there.. her sense lurked wherever i went.. she was the person whom i loved best...Hemant saysshweta naa... ya,i knw.. tune to pata nahe kitno ko pyar kiya hai darling..!!!

Maine kitno ko pyaar kiya hai.. shall i make a list.. ohh really!! . the ones whom i loved at my best.. and hurt me like anything....Papa- he made me lose contact with sanity... lose faith in love.. lose faith in relationships.. and made me detest conjugal relationship above all...

Mama- his arrogance and his attitude of considering others lower than him... made me.. stubborn...

Ma- i cannot compalin her love.. but cuz of Papa she made me hate herself.. more than three times in life...

Shweta--Ohh i never spoke of her .. right... i loved her.. i love her.. i can nvere stop loving her...know not what happened betwen us .. and why we stopped talking to each other....??

Hemant- My best pal.... his lies.. hurt me..

Sonal- she is a darling...

Nanny-- she never disappoints me... 'll keep my fingers crossed till my death..

Pinku- i hate him for loving him so much....

And, I have become an Anarchist !!!!!!!Phew!!!!!! label me the way you want .. i don't give a damn to it...

Deepak-- don't know what to say.. in which list i should include my lord's name...


Well, where was i .. yeah i haven't changed in the least.. i cried .. my eyes are still wet when 'm writing about her..
Shwetambery Khurana.. i have thought that she is no more in my memories.. she is no more in my life.. she is nothing to me.. but every passing day confirmed her presence so intensely.. cuz i was atleast thinking of her while thinking all this..
hahahaha
believe me.. i'm mad..

Hey Sh-we-ta.... she recognized at once...Prachi Joshi... I'm glad darling Prachi is still there ..
in your thoughts...
i was dreading may be she won't recognize my voice and how painful it will be for me.. but the way i call her name no one does and no one can ever...
My Shweta..
i remeber she had not talked to me for a whole week.. when in 10th std.. cuz i used to spend time with sonal and she got jealous.. so stopped talking to me.. turn her face..
from me.. sitting with me whole day long in class and avoiding me...and then on sunday she called me up.. we had no phone in those days(how cud we have?.. aah it's another story)...
Shweta: where are you?
Prachi: at home
Shweta : Ok , Bye
Prachi: what happened, tell me...is something wrong?
Shweta: you care?
Prachi: yes , of course ! i have been trying to talk to you.. and you are avoiding me.. what's the matter shweta let me know..i'm really depressed..
Shweta: yeah i know i saw you crying in tuition.. i felt hurt
Prachi: then tell me
Shweta: i had a dream! i saw you going back to Nepal.. and i wake up sweating hard.. fearing that you ight have left already.. so called up..
Prachi:" to stop me?
Shweta: you go and talk to your dear friend sonal, i don't care..
Prachi: that's why you called up, you should have told me Shweta.. i literally begged.. in school, class, tution. on the way home.. but of no avail.. instead you kept ta;lking to divya maheshwari/chitra, and Nancy.. don't you think so how bad i might have felt..
Shweta: Now, 'm okay..u crazy girl.. i was jealous of sonal..
Prachi: you could have told me.. i wouldn't have talked to her..
Shwet: hahahha'
Prachi: a..hahahahaha
Prachi: chalo let's catch up in tuition..
Shweta.. yeah .. we missed lot..
And we both hung up!!

I'm happy.. the way i was when i talked to My lord.. after two long years..
the way i was when..
i met nanny after two years...
the way i was when.. nanny on phone said prachi 'm happy finally you are single..

the way when i realized he is a real man...


Fir bhi na jane kyun kahlish hai is dil mein..

Monday, September 1, 2008

Beautifully Chaotic...............

You know what , practically speaking one needs to have some high degree.. good job.. to make social standing... this is what we do for society.. parents.. to make our self presentable and livable in society...

What you want to do for yourself.. when i passed out.. i asked myself what you want Nicky... and the reply was to freak out..before i get on with my masters in Eng. lit... and i join PR in CP evening classes.. full masti.... and after that my masters... i have always done what my heart desires.. since if my heart is under some obligation or pressure then i won't be able to survive..in my MA final i realized i need to write.. no more .. exams.. i'll write..
and didn't appear in my exams{i have phobia of exams too..:)}
i begin content writing.. and then blogging.. i left my exams mid way.. not cuz i have not done with my course.. but i was not in mood..{ however you dare not follow this thing.. }.. my acts.. my wishes.. my desires.. "my being me..." has labeled me as an Anarchist.. but in my case there will be no accidental death.. that will also be wished for one day when i will feel life is no more interesting.. abhi it is ..

Do what your heart desires.. it never desires wrong for you.. but being an intellectual and a mature girl always be ready to take responsibility of your acts... if you dare, be ready for the consequences too.. i have always dared.. and have always blew the consequences.. bad/good with a whiff of wind...

MBA- people are hell lot crazy for it.. why..baah.. practical nerds..



"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"

life is not always meant for eking but for living as well... live the way you want to.. and fight the odds...

I just felt like talking to someone.. and when i write... i feel as if i'm talking.. i'm having some real discourse ...so here i spill some of my gibberish...

study well.. or rather read well..
this year i really influencing.. which is beyond interesting..
it changed me and my life.. may be you are the next in line..
everything happens for a reason.. what's the reason behind me talking to you...? strange..
My Lord teases me saying I'm chatting Queen..
but i like talking endlessly... when 'm silent.. my lips not moving.. my fingers not scribbling/typing... then it's my heart talking to every senses alive..