Saturday, December 13, 2008

Now You Have Tasted Love's Sweet Wine

Thread that starts from simple "HELLO" trails along the path of whole life if tended with utmost love and care. You never know when all of a sudden someone becomes too special for you and without even knocking at the doorstep of your heart creeps into it silently and makes a home there. One day a name… name strange for ears but beautiful to lips rings out and lo! There you get settled …this very name keeps swaying around you until it embraces your whole self into its whirlpool. You know what it is? It is what we call Love.

Love – simple four letter words with diversified meanings and implications. You love your mum, dad, siblings, friends, teachers, fellow humans then why this simple word becomes too special and big in its essence when used in context of this someone who has just swept you off your feet?

Somewhere it is written, in a holy text of Hindus that there is only one relation in this whole world- relation of a man with a woman and rest are mere trailers. Rightly said, at the end of the day what man needs is woman and vice versa. They are incomplete without each other like ocean without water; sky without clouds, earth without soil.

You must have seen many people going around in the pursuit of right man and right woman but of no avail. It comes and makes it presence felt when you are really not prepared and that too in a very ordinary fashion; not the way you would have imagined like I’ll attend some function and will spot someone who will take my breath away/ some friend, though we keep fighting one day will fall for each other as shown in Yash Chopra flicks. No, it comes on its own; it’s that wild and untamed force to which you can never resist. It comes for everyone depends how long one take to recognize it.

It makes you feel good, makes you feel beautiful, makes you feel vulnerable; keeps you entranced, enchanted. It gives hell lot of pain but ask lovers and they will tell you- pains are the very nectar of the love that springs in the hearts of two beings…It seems one lifetime is not enough to be with this someone.

Love has its impression full in emotional/physical/social/psychological sense . If you love someone then have guts to be for that person whole of your life irrespective of what creed/color/nature/race/religion it belongs to.

When you love someone then you learn the most important lesson of life- Self Sacrifice!

Love selflessly and see what immense pleasure you will feel.

Nanny! I have always been worried about this girl. Never opens up, lots of things her heavy thoughts laden eyes says but her lips never move to formulate words that my ears could listen. My heart used to ache seeing her alone. You know what it’s necessary to have someone to turn to in your life. When everywhere it is haze and just a look from your lover makes world seems like Eden again with clear view. There should be someone to tell you how beautiful your dark kohled eyes are; there was a need of someone to quip and roll into laughter seeing you making faces when irritated. There is always a need for someone who can tell you oh my princess you are the best thing that has ever happened to me in this life. It is necessary to feel like a sleeping beauty waiting for a prince charming to come and wake you up from deep slumber of loneliness.

Someone who can introduce you to yourself; who can tell you who exactly you are. Let you know how many diamonds worth you have? Can say oh Rakhi why you keep pretending that you are an adamant,strong, and self confident girl who doesn't need anyone. You too need someone in front of whom you can freely show your tender self honey.

Life becomes worth living. Every thing around in this world takes beautiful and colorful meanings. Seems some music is in air…It is necessary to feel someone’s arm around your shoulder so that your neck doesn’t get hurt while tilting. There should be an arm to tug into while walking down the lane. There should be someone in front of whom you can be what you are. I used to feel that void….that space empty in your life Nanny dearest.

I wake up at 3:30 am Was too uneasy, felt as if something is happening and knew not what. I was curious knew not why? Then around 4-4:30 am you called up and I was really not surprised. You must have noticed that there was no sense of alarm in my voice as if this was what my unconscious self was waiting for. You were sounding ecstatic, out of senses… hahahaha believe me Nanny how eagerly I waited for this moment… I’m your friend or may be I don’t have words to describe our relationship anymore honey. I am so much happy for you.

I was happy that moment but more than that I was at peace. My heart got that satisfaction I was yearning for. You know Nanny, even if this feeling is for short while it brings heavenly hues in your life.. and I could imagine you dressed in magical hues already.

You know what Nanny you were sounding like a kid who is too happy after receiving her most wished for gift on Christmas. How swiftly words were flowing out of your heart with no pauses. It seemed if you will never stop; you will will really never have enough of talking.... I know how good it feels to have someone round who is equal to you in all rational and emotional sense and emitting back that same pleasure which you are feeling in his presence. Finally! It happened to you..

God Bless You

Love you loadzzzz!!
Mmuaahhh :)

Amor Fati !!

A Poem For Thee

I don't remember where did i come across this poem and who is the poet... But this is beautiful.

Read it though...

I Asked…
“Pray dear, do you love me?”

They say there are more stars above
Than grains of sand undreamed of.

You said…
“More than all above I love thee!”

When feeling weak and vulnerable
In need from you a lift
Then words like these
Are a gracious gift!

When alone and in need of cheer
Asking if you really care
Then words like these
With me you share.

When missing you until I ache
So much longing for you
Then words like these
Confirm your love is true.

When you are there and I am here
Separate, yet close
Then words like these
Say it’s me you chose.

When we laugh and play together
Happy and content
Then words like these
Our love cement.

When we’re holding each other
With our thoughts and dreams
Then words like these
Our past redeems

When we’re together all alone
Talking and sharing
Then words like these
Reveal such caring.

When I need you most
In the hours wee
Then words like these
Increase my love for thee!

12th December 2007

Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time:

effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

It’s too difficult to write something reasonable because when I write I am not in senses. I write when I'm overwhelmed with an urge to give myself a vent.... This post is not a vent. It is a confession-confession of my love for him. I don't know what the intensity of love is; I don't how much I love. What I know is just that I loved him; I love him and will love him ever and forever.

December 12 2008

Dearest Deepak,

I feel sometimes that you do not care about me as much as i do. i fear that i am no more important to you since as it is said things once wished for if achieved lose their importance so i lost that significance in your life. I know it's just that I miss you so much so that silly notions & fears get their ways in my heart during solitary hours.

Hey Love! I love you and loving you more as the days are passing and you have grown from a mere friend to a lover to a suitor to SOUL MATE!!

Now, what I'm going to write you are the words of my mentor Keats's as he is my mentor in poetry so his words describe well what I wanted to tell you... I hope you will easily comprehend the meanings. And for that my love read in between the lines...

"The more I have known you the more have I loved. In every way - even my jealousies have been agonies of Love, in the hottest fit I ever had I would have died for you.

I have vex'd you too much. But for Love! Can I help it?

You are always new. The last of your kisses was ever the sweetest; the last smile the brightest;"

I think these words described what I wanted to tell you.... may not be anew feeling or thought but every time I talk about it' like a bud opening up to this world for the fist time.

When you say, “I Love You Prachi." It gives me sensations similar to the day when you said it for the first time.

Did i tell you your whispers are enough to rouse me from silence, from sleep, from depths, from this ordinary human world and make me feel ecstatic... aah bliss if there is it is here in this world, on the piece of earth you standing, in the moment when you call my name, in you, in your existence, in you within me.

Every moment spent with you is worth cherishing; seems this life will be too short since i would love to live each moment thousand times with you.

One thing I learned from this life I have been endowed with is Love... I love and will keep on loving till my eyes gets closed to this world.

You might be thinking what a nasty little girl, keeps torturing me with her complaints... but I know you have loved me more than I have ever done to you.

You waited for me long two years and I got disheartened in few months.... you know what in these few months I have loved you with all my might which left nothing in me of me.... it's all you all you and all you!!!

You are the very first thought of my day and there is no ending after that.

There was a time when I had thought that now it's high time and you no more love me and that moment I was in love with you and I loved you all the more sincerely and deeply without any hopes of you back in my life. And, now when I have you with me can you imagine how devoutly I love you.

When you are around my soul is at peace. Seems no more journeys, no more I am a nomad;

I feel complete and feel secure,

Though urgency in your voice makes me wearied; I feel hurt to see you tensed, but at the same time my heart feels immense pleasure that howsoever busy this world may make you my absence unnerves you still.

There are days when I need you most, when my heart aches to be with you and you are not there even to console it. I still cannot be angry with you and this makes me angry on myself. See the plight of my situation I’m upset because I was not able to be angry with you.

I know not what I am for you, though I have been waiting since long to hear it from you. You know what sometimes words are needed; if not words then expressions are needed; if not expressions then deeds are needed to express what you feel. If nothing applies then why God made this weirdo thing called language? Language is made to convey what humans feel or think. And, we are endowed with various faculties as a medium for language…. Use them sometimes dearest me! It ought to be done!

Many Many Happy Returns of the Day- It’s been a year to us together in such a beautiful relationship. We have been best of friends to each other. Let not unhappy memories make you sad over anything. Life is too beautiful and now when you are in then it is all the more beautiful.

Love you ever and ever and forever!!!

God Bless !

“My Mind has been the most discontented and restless one that ever was put into a body too small for it.

I never felt my Mind repose upon anything with complete and undistracted enjoyment - upon no person but you.

When you are in the room my thoughts never fly out of window: you always concentrate my whole senses.”

-John Keats

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be

Yours P-for Princess