It’s already too late I have wasted 18 years of my life just like that thinking and imagining and just not doing anything worthy. It’s high time now and I need to do something soon lest I’ll be extinct from the face of earth without being registered in the cannons of mankind’s history. I need to do that for Greek warriors winning a battle was glory and in the same way getting registered in the psyche of human beings is my destination and I need to do that. I have to attain that glory lest I’ll see myself as a looser even at the death bed. I don’t know what happens when I embark on pursuing my dream.
Something intervenes and it’s only my imagination that keeps me wandering on the edges and leads me astray. I need to focus myself; I need to have full concentration. Enough of fooling around people- friends, love, family, crap! I keep thinking about them and lose the precious time that should be devoted to pursue my dream. Aah! It has gone too far but not so much so that I cannot get it back only if lace up my shoes and saddle up my horse back right away.
Life is too short, I need to get back home- as Tennyson says this world is a journey that needs to end at home (and home is where god is). I don’t want to go empty handed and show him face like a moron who has gained nothing on the way back to home. As in ancient times children were sent to study abroad so was I being sent by the father above to learn and gain some knowledge and let Him be proud of His child. Though He is the pilot steering my life still He gave me this power of reason to utilize it well and be a good child and learn the lessons He wanted to teach via this journey called life.
Crossing the Bar
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.
-------- Alfred Lord Tennyson
There are many things that deviates me from the path but this is what we call tests, put to us. We need to face them and go ahead with a winning smile.
Let not the failure deter me… Oh Lord! Bless me with Thine grace!
Thoust do not leave me… Oh Lord! Whatev’ be the circumstances!
Let not me waver from my path ahead
I’ll have my dream fulfilled with Thine grace!
I’ll attain the glory meant for intellect high, I’ll wish upon the star and to get it will reach the sky!
I have promised myself to be the best child
I’ll attain the glory with graces of Thine!
-----Me, To Father