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Monday, January 19, 2009

I Would Love To Hear You Singing Song Of My Heart...




There are times in your life when you want someone to listen to you endlessly and then there are some other times when you want that someone to talk about you endlessly. You yearn to listen about yourself and almost half of your life you pine for it since one who loves you feels lack of words to talk about you....
This is something we will never admit even to ourselves. Isn't it? I want my best friend to define me, give words to mine and their relationship, I would be ecstatic if my lord will sit one day and talk about me endlessly. Same is the case with everyone around.

There is one song that I just want my lord to sing for me....

I wonder if everyone of you have heard it or not so I'm giving Punjabi lyrics along with English Translation


Tere Bin Sanu Sohneya-Rabbi Shergill-Delhi Heights



Tere Bin Sanu Sohniya
Koi Hor Nahio Labhna
Jo Dave Ruh Nu Sakun
Chukke Jo Nakhra Mera
Ve Main Sare Ghumm Ke Vekhia
Amrika , Roos, Malaysia
Na Kittey Vi Koi Fark Si
Har Kise Di Koi Shart Si
Koi Mangda Mera Si Shama
Koi Hunda Surat Te Fida
Koi Mangda Meri Si Wafa
Na Koi Mangda Merian Bala
Tere Bin Hor Na Kise
Mangni Merian Bala
Tere Bin Hor Na Kise
Karni Dhup Vich Chhan
Tere Bin Sanu Sohniya
Koi Hor Nahio Labhna
Jo Dave Ruh Nu Sakun
Chukke Jo Nakhra Mera


None other than you

I’ll be with my Love

Who rests my soul to peace?

Who handles my varying moods I have been around the world America, Russia Malaysia

There isn’t any difference (it’s all the same everywhere)

Everyone has their own terms and conditions

Some demanded my time

Some gets fascinated to my looks

Some demanded my fidelity

Nobody wants to share my pains/failings

None other than you

Accepts my failings

None other than you

Bothers to give me shade in sun

None other than you

I’ll be with my Love

Who rests my soul to peace

Who handles my varying moods



Jiven Rukia Si Tun Zara
Nahion Bhulna Main Sari Umar
Jiven Akhia Si Akhan Chura
"Rovenga Sanu Yad Kar"
Hasia Si Main Hasa Ajeeb
Par Tu Nahi Si Hasia
Dil Vich Tera Jo Raaz Si
Mainu Tu Kyon Ni Dasia
Tere Bin Sanu Eh Raaz
Kise Hor Nahion Dasna
Tere Bin Peerh Da Ilaaj
Kis Vaid Kolon Labhna
Tere Bin Sanu Sohniya
Koi Hor Nahio Labhna
Jo Dave Ruh Nu Sakun

Chukke Jo Nakhra Mera


The way you stopped a little

Never can I forget the moment my whole life

Stealing looks with me you said

“Will weep remembering me”

I laughed strangely at your vehemence

But you didn’t laugh

The secret that you had in your heart

Why you didn’t tell me?

Besides you, this secret

I’ll never talk with

If not you know cure to my heart’s malady

Which doctor can ever have?

None other than you

I’ll be with my Love

Who rests my soul to peace

Who handles my varying moods


Milia Si Ajj Mainu
Tera Ik Patra
Likhia Si Jis 'te
Tun Shayr Varey Shah Da
Parr Ke Si Osnu
Hanjnu Ik Duliya
Akhan 'ch Band Si
Seh Raaz Ajj Khulia
Ki Tere Bin Eh Mere Hanjnu
Kise Hor Nahio Chumna
Ki Tere Bin Eh Mere Hanjhu
Mitti Vich Rulnha
Tere Bin Sanu Sohniya
Koi Hor Nahio Labhna
Jo Dave Ruh Nu Sakun Chukke Jo Nakhra Mera) - 5

Today I got hold of

A letter of yours

Scribbled on it

You verses of Waris Shah

Reading that

A teardrop trickled down

Hidden in my eyes

Secrets all revealed today

None other than you, my tears

Will be kissed by

Without you my tears

Will be lost in sand

None other than you

I’ll be with my Love

Who rests my soul to peace

Who handles my varying moods

How intense are the emotions conveyed by lover. It really takes guts to speak of your love!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

How to know what I am?


A girl with vast pool of knowledge imbued in her little frame, with ideas rebel-l-ish, Duh! “She is an anarchist!”- I have started loving this remark now.
I love collecting books, trying new dresses, hats, handbags,crockery, paper bags
I have myriad of interests right from performing arts to penning thoughts down on paper & e-paper. I have a perfect life with lots of twists & turns that ensures and further strengthens my belief that I’m going to be a very famous writer since all literati had controversial life. May God Bless me too with Vicissitudes of adjusting with common folks and be a nerd so that I may call myself as one of the herd (Renaissance girl, Neo-classicist, romantic, or Modern). Amen!
I want to read something about myself. May be this post will suffice me... I asked Deepak to write something about me, he says, "i cannot express my thoughts well."
I asked Rakhi (Nanny), I'm yet waiting.

Blogging maketh a writer!


Blogging, It has become one of the most popular phenomenon- kind of rage amongst the herd of fellow human. almost every third person has a personal blog and claims to be a Writer. Times changes like anything . Man! there was time when writers were too poor to sustain their life and present day so-called writers have great bucks flowing into their pockets. They have the most lavish lifestyle with favorites amongst some of the expensive dining places in the city.

Earlier, it was too easy to spot a writer from the group of common people. He/ she was the most elegantly lost personality. Some of the identifying features of a writer- someone in shabby cloths, unruly hair, brooding countenance, self-absorbed and already-lost kind of expression breathed out by his whole self. And, today’s modern writer has already shorn-ed off poor chap ‘Paper’ and picked up digital notebooks which they carry along projecting their sophisticated image. To me it seems as if some donkey laden with useless baggage is coming along trotting the path.

I’m seriously glad still there are few people who loves reading writings on paper instead of this 12”,14” or what not inches screen.

Bah! see the way I’m trying to play on the emotions of bloggers worldwide ridiculing them for not preferring paper made books when myself I’m blogging from past one year and piling lots of silly stuff on web.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

DKS

It’s been ages… naah just a year with him and seems as if I have already lived many ages with him. When in 2005 I met him by chance on an online chatting platform –Fropper. I thought he has attitude because he said Hello and then vanished off for few days. So, the day we chatted for the first time on yahoo messenger I let him know my views about him. Once I started talking to him there were no breaks. We chatted almost every night for long long hours. Sometimes till 4:00 AM in morning and still there seemed to be no end to talks. It seemed to me as if with him something happens as if it’s not me who talks it’s something within me something beyond my physical existence that comes out to connect connecting_nicky@yahoo.co.in to Deepak Sharma. Yes this is what he used to call me teasingly-‘connecting_nicky’ ‘yahoo.co.in’. I remember the way I protested him when asked to receive his call

Gauche what a weirdo I acted that day. I was so scared and thrilled with the idea of speaking a man whom I have never seen and just chatted on net and even don’t know who he is exactly. But, that was the best time of life when I was in love with someone living miles away from me and I have never met with. He was like a prince charming and I used to imagine how he will come galloping over the horse and woo me as princes does in fairy tales.

It was real life- human life where in reality no fairy tales happens so I got disillusioned by his existence. I felt as if he doesn’t exist and one day my dream will break and I’ll face the fact that he is no more than a hallucination. I left him without even telling him why. He cried and yelled and wept for the reason and I acted as if turned into a stone. And, when I realized that no he is not a dream, a mere fascination but my life’s beautiful reality till then I had lost him. My guilt never let me get back to him.

2007 Nov when I joined my first job as a web content writer I was so confident and filled with fresh vigor to live my life in best possible way, then there again he came knocking at the door of my consciousness (12 Dec 2007). http://prachimuses.blogspot.com/2008/06/deep.html

I kept reading his mails and rejecting his friend requests on Orkut. I knew the day I‘ll accept his requests I won’t be able to desist myself and will keep talking to him. I don’t know what happens to me when he is there. It seems things come out of me involuntarily and uncontrolled. And, this is what happened when I accepted him as a friend. My heart knew that he is no mere a friend and can never be. He captivates me, my attention and my whole being. His snap that he sent me in December 2005 seemed so imposing to me I used to feel as if his gaze is dominating me. Aaah what is this all going on with me? He, just an ordinary man, how can he do this to me?

I asked him during our first call this time (Dec 2007) - Will you marry me? Deepak replied: “Yes, I’ll marry you. I was and will always be there for you Prachi. Just let me be sure that you are sincere this time and I’ll never leave you!”

I knew that every word in that SMS was true and he is speaking honest.

I cannot just stop marveling at his patience- he waited for me even when the way I left him was as if never to come back. I acted rude, weird, snobbish, and ridiculous and he endured all the insults just because he loved me truly. Why then I flee? My fears, my impatience led me astray. I curse myself for hurting him till date.

I still cannot believe my fate that he is with me.

Brown eyes, wheat-ish complexion, medium stature (health and height), down to earth living style, intelligent, intellectual who believes in working hard & working smart, puts oil in his hair, looks good in white shirt, religiously religious, God-fearing, Idealist, Patriotism in blood, great lover of Romantic Movies, Shahrukh Khan Fan, Experiments in kitchen (I'm his would be guinea -pig), cribs over not-so-nutritious diet, loves gazar ka halwa, trying to learn how to be diplomatic, wannabe politician, a gentleman and an obedient child.



I’m Sorry and you know this is for you. I cannot write as you are too much into me that defining you have also become the most difficult issue in this life. http://prachimuses.blogspot.com/2008/05/nicky.html -Blog entry done on-Saturday, February 23, 2008.

You want me to write something on you- how can I do this? When I write about you. it’s just not a writing it is as if I’m talking to you and things get too difficult for me, lot comes in my mind that needs to be buried down somewhere in the grounds of past not to be remembered ever. I owe everything to you- my life, my words, my smiles, my wishes, my dreams. It seems as if you cannot be defined without me being mentioned nor can I be ever defined without being you in it. What to write then what to say. Something happens to me when I talk about you or write about you. I am left with nothing just stroking the keys on type pad with pressure. .


Monday, January 12, 2009

Answer Of Every Riddle Is In The Middle


What I am, I don’t look like

And what I look like, I am not

I’m crazy, but I am not

I’m insane, I am not

I’m bold, I am not

I’m extrovert, I am not

I’m introvert, I am not

I’m playful, I am not

I’m saintly, I am not

I’m serious, how can you say that?

Enigma, Insomniac, Dreamer

I need something that can intoxicate me; Sense of intoxication itself liberates my senses. When I am intoxicated when I am not in senses…I am very much in senses and control of my thoughts.

You fired my imagination

You walk into me unbarred

You sleep within me untouched

You dance within me unperturbed

You drink my soul- Who You are?

You are the music flowing in each & every fiber of My being!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Writing Keeps Me In Touch With Myself



Nice place to pen down your deepest thoughts in an utterly brilliant fashion. As I perceived Blogs spares you from all those silly hidings of personal diaries so that somebody at home doesn't get to know what all you are up to. Blog rolls are kind of diaries that you maintain to register your daily journals and thoughts that keeps streaming in you mind's alley or gully. When I first embarked on this Blog writing venture, the very first thought that came up was -is it really good way to express your inner most feelings and give vent to your tired, exhausted, scorched, irritated, and what nots soul? I'm still not answered back! Anyway this doesn't even really bother me much. Now, I'm here so got to fill it with some beautiful thoughts. Definitely, you do not indulge in niceties always so you may find some Grey matters as well.
Apart from personal vent it's a platform that helps you giving expression to your thoughts on myriad subjects and get in touch with people of like mind. Comments posted by readers from places lets you know what is good and bad in your writing. Blog as I understand is a sort of interactive interface where you can be anonymous and still express your thoughts with no fear of being debarred.
Earlier posts were just for me, I communed with my inner self and Lord above; I still do same but now someone out there can also co-relate to the situation. Words are somewhat welcoming not like turning into some dark recesses as they did earlier.
I don't know how I write good or bad or average, but I write because writing is like lifeblood for me. I write and converse with myself, to keep myself breathing. I don't recognize people in outer world as I do to myself. I only know one entity and that's me. When I write, when I look into mirror I exclaim “Oh Lord thank you very much there is one soul in this world who knows me perfectly and understand me the way I am.

I want to go on reading and scribbling and talking to people from different backgrounds and cultures. I want to know what others think on this or that issue. This way I explore this invincible "Self" that's a big mystery to me. I have always believed that real knowledge lies in exploring the world and subjects it withholds.

Whatever have been the circumstances in my life, I scribbled every pain, I gave words to every smile, every wink I did so that the moment I experienced some emotion may not get lost in oblivion. Definitely not a good writer, merely a scribbler still I have words. I have thoughts that I try my level best to pen down.

Writing keeps me sane all the way long. It keeps me on track and keeps reminding me life without scars isn't life honey. So bear with it and try to live. Look at people below you and not above you then you will realize that just a hint of adversity has struck you and there are people who have been surviving through worst of the situations you could have ever imagined of.

So, I say Life has always been interesting to me and I just love to live!

I have been surfing through net to get some good info on what writing does to your personality and came across this. I would like my fellow bloggers to read this page carefully. It is brilliant piece!


http://www.utexas.edu/features/2005/writing/





Expressionless Expressions


I have always found myself lost in eternal silence as if some silence enwraps me in its dark shawl and lulls me to waking sleep when i can hear and see everything still impotent to react. Whenever there is n urge to express myself out, it seems as if words verbalized or scribbled by me never reaches the audience jotted on paper or this blog instead these are, as if pushed out of my soul-from my inner recesses. And, these very words that have been forced out of me to speak my heart out hang still in air with number of dotted lines trailing after them.
I often try to write but 'm not musical...But, is it necessary to have any song of yours or there is already as song within every one of us and 'm unable to hum one tuned in my soul?

Self Analysis-Be Informed About Your Own Self!

Whatsoever affectations you put on but you have to be true to your own self. Whatever be the circumstances you cannot or rather say must not lie to yourself. Conscience takes atoll on your life is it happens.
Once in a while I ask myself, probe my conscious mind for whatever I am doing or saying so that I can keep check on flow of words and development of thoughts in my mindscape... I personally feel that it is good to do self analysis as it helps you find out answers to number of questions that keeps boggling our mind whole day out. It's rightly said that - to every question we are the only answers, everything is in us. We humans are the self sufficient beings. We have everything including nature within us so why seek answers out. Just a little digging in the conscience and subconscious mind and lo there you are with the shocking reply. You will be amazed not at the answer to your question but at the fact that the solution of your problem was already with you, residing in your depths.

Self-analysis is kind of healthy relationship in between your mind and heart;in between your external and internal self.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

How I wish To Wish For A Wish- What Wish?




How I wish to fly high in the sky only if I would have those beautiful wings. I want to reach high above in the heaven where maker of this world of human kind is. I have so many questions to be answered by Him. I have many issues to fight over and the most important one is why He inflicts pain to us when we are His own children. How can one hurt their own creation? When we create something we take utmost care of it, safeguard it against all odds and destructive powers then why we human His own creation is so troubled and wreathing in pain? Why all these tests and tribulations in living life?
Every year I ask Him to grant me a peaceful life then why He never listens to me? I never trouble anybody; I have always been kind to not only to animated but inanimate objects as well. I have never done wrong to anyone and if ever I did then I repented for the same and had incurred hell like tribulations. Almost daily I wake up with a hope that things will change today, there will be no more fights- fights in between mom n dad, fight with economic crisis, fight with my own troubling self, and fight with opposing views. Man! I need a break! It's been long 10 years and I have never been out of my town, I'm here only stuck in labyrinth of my unrequited desires and lost dreams.
Dreams- they never get fulfilled. I have advised myself thousand times not to see any more still this heart seems to have no bound in dreaming-keeps fantasizing a life that will never come my way. At times i no longer want to live but this wish too is not in my hand. Death never comes invited!
Why I'm such a tortuous soul?


Monday, January 5, 2009

New Year- Will It Be?


Here comes a new year in all its exuberance and smiles spreading the message of love and universal brotherhood as usual. But do you really think things will be so fresh and vibrant as they seem to be while bathing in the light of new day. Every one of us is so full of zeal to achieve something in New Year. We have many resolutions and plans to carry them out. Most of us too readily declare our New Year resolutions and some coyly say resolutions… are you seriously talking about making them... naah not my cuppa tea!

Whatever be the case everyone in the world openly or secretly has some future plans and do work on them diligently. We fail but there are some who wins and they are the successful people in the world. It’s not important how big you achieve but it’s significant that you at least achieved what you decided.

Life is like that! It definitely throws us all in the throes of chaotic abyss where uncertainty is the supreme rule still reasoning the intellect that’s been endowed to us helps us out of getting doomed eternally. We still have hopes to get better of life. This is kind of trick playing game where we keep fighting almost all the time with this or the other entity be it human or non human and end is drastically opposite of what human understanding can ever grasp. This is human predicament. To fight out all odds and be a toy in the hands of destiny at the end of every venture.

Coming back to point- if we plan things ahead then do they really get executed the way we expect. No! It never happens since you never know what’s there in store for you in next moment. But, this means that we must stop planning and thinking over future plans completely. Both ways can be stupid. We will be declared as the silliest of morons on green planet. Know not where to end this monologue as my gibberish will go on- a whole year is left for this.

I'm little late in wishing you all fellow bloggers & Readers.
So, here I’m wishing you all a very Happy New Year! May all your dreams and wishes come true!

With every New Year there comes a bout of nostalgia, New Year resolutions, some promises with self & new journeys.

Nostalgia: what we did/ what happened/ what must not have happened/ shouldn’t be done or said/ Ifs and buts.
Resolutions: to-do list, not-to-do list
New Journeys- Ventures afresh

You must have already made a list of new year resolutions and already done with brooding over things that have been done and have become a matter of past. I'm still into it. I'm still not over with ruminating over my past year 2008. Lot happened! Life showed changes apparently and made me stuck in a whirlpool and maze of desires and their fulfillment. Seems there has never been a change in my life. Things, events, people, and situations all are static with no movement at all. Inertia – yeah this is what one calls to such living.