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Friday, July 31, 2009

Sometimes I Wonder What All I Miss


There are moments in your life when you really want to feel special… good actually! Not on your birthday, award winning day or on the day which has something special related to you or your life but this can be any day with no meaning attached to it, with no special remembrance associated with it.

I, often feel that there is something missing in my life. I keep denying the truth that I don’t know what is it that gnaws at me all the time, and what all I want. I know, it’s that spark, it’s that sensuality, it’s that zeal, youth, playfulness, innocence, and love which is missing from my life. I yearn and yearn… I wait and wait, that there will be a day when something peppy, something which will sweep me off my feet will happen. Something that will tantalize my senses, that will make my head spin and make me lose my senses completely and let me go lose in the arms of passion will happen. Alas, nothing of the sort happens! Seems, I should accept- do not see dreams with eyes wide open, they break….

I want each day of my life filled with colors… aah don’t call them colors- rather hues of pink, orange, wine, mauve, crimson, luscious yellow that can melt my whole self into them and infuse me with passion so crystalline, so intense, so heart rendering that….

I need hues of pink to feel my smile spread on your lips

I need hues of red to feel myself melting in you

I had a vision…..

There is blue everywhere, I can see some flames right in the middle where mosaic of lights are seen. Vision where red and orange and yellow intertwined with wine and mauve and pink seemed as if vines are twined on each other’s skin and slipping in vein similar to merging of two fluids in one…. Two bodies into one….

Vision or dream?

I miss a touch, I miss a peck on cheeks, I miss a playful tease, I miss a flirtatious smile, I miss a silent request to stay some more, I miss those evening walks, I miss late comings, I miss sorry face, I miss a amour look, I miss those warm hugs, I miss annoyance on being shopaholic, I miss playing tantrums, I miss being coquettish, I miss being seductive, I miss holding hands, I miss dancing through nights…… I miss so much though I haven’t had any of these yet I miss…

I wish I could have been some young maiden of fifteen century England and wooed by some poet-courtier or be a lady love of some sailor who is coming triumphed back to English shores with huge pile of jewels of orient for me…. :)

I have my Sailor-Sindbad The Sailor. He brings no Jewels from Orient, no precious dreams yet He is so precious and loved that seems I have become that mermaid who every night comes on the shore from the depths of blue and sings a beautiful song in his remembrance and waits for his last coming...


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