Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Moments I Yearn for

When love is accompanied with deep intimacy,
it raises us to the highest level of human experience.
In this exalted space, we can surrender our egos, become
vulnerable and know levels of joy and well-being unique
among life experiences. We attain a glimpse of the rapture
that can be ours. Boundaries are blurred, there are no
limitations and we rejoice in union. We become one and,
at the same time, both....Leo Buscaglia.

There are moments when I have thousands of thoughts welling up in my heart and mind but when you re there, right in front of me nothing comes off. It seems as if some kind of brakes have been pulled all of a sudden making me jerk back on my seat. As if something unknown restrains me, pulls me back and desists me from revealing my heart’s deepest desires. May be it’s the fear of losing you; maybe it’s the fear of getting exposed. There are moments when I want to hold your hand and touch it to my closed lids and let the tear trickle down on it, so that you too feel the intensity with which emotions sway within my deepest chores. There are moments when I just want you to take my hand in yours, place your other hand on my deep curve and let our bodies sway with the rhythms of soft music. That will be a ecstatic moment when I can lay my head on your shoulders, eyes closed softly, and sense the heaving of your chest with deep breathes flashing in between you and me.

But, I don’t get such moments to spend with you. My desires, takes me far far away into the lands of imagination where I satiate my inner most wish to be with you and let our bodies slip in a timeless time and place. And, the moment comes when I’m snatched back to reality , where I’m lying on my bed, my head tilted towards ground and my hair flaring as air brushes past them. I can see through the corner of my eyes, two small droplets of tears lying on the floor, at the either side of my head like pearls.

I long to be with you, and let you see every movement I make. I yearn to listen, that you notice every sway and bend of my curvaceous body. I want to know how your heart quivers when I turn round and flash a smile at you. I would love to engrave your presence, infuse your fragrance, deep within me.

How would I look like when you will be all over me, even when you are not beside me? I haven’t had those moments that can let me have your smell lingering on my flesh as much as it is mine.

Let me have one day from your life when I can smell you in me, when I can feel your touch all over me, the day I can feel that It’s you who breathes through me, it’s no more ‘I’ or ‘You’ now it’s ‘WE.’