Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sometimes I Wonder

At times I miss you a lot

There are moments when I feel myself in conversation with you and in a moment you are nowhere to be found!

Alas, that’s the state I am in these days

Your busy schedule keeps you busy enough but to me it keeps me lingering on….

Do you know last night I saw you sitting near my feet on my bed? You seemed to be playing with my right leg’s toe. That was a dream baby, yet I feel your touch on my toe.

Day before yesterday, when I was drying my hair in front of dressing table, I had a fleeting glimpse of you flicking a drop of water from my wet hair.

Every night I wish you good night- do you hear me?

I close my eyes and see myself kissing your closed lids- do you feel the moist?

I lay my head on your chest and bury my face into it- do you sense me?

Then only I get to sleep- a sound sleep! Do you know this?

I have your passport size photograph in my clutch purse and I feel proud to have it in there…know not why?

I, almost daily, check those toothpicks which you had chewed at one end. They are still there in that little black holder.

I love your silly-kid-like handwriting so much so that I have made it a routine work to read your letter once in a day.

It pains a lot to wear wristwatch as I have an old wound right there yet I put it on…because I love you

I keep my messenger signed in so that whenever you feel like talking, I am available

I have no work online, but that’s only the way to make me assure of your presence

You know what I really want to visit you some night when you are asleep and kiss on your closed eyes, caress your forehead and keep looking at you forever…

Often, while in kitchen when I cut my finger or burn it by mistake, for an instance it seems as if you came rushing and scolded me for being careless and attended to the hurt…

You know Deep, I really envy those couples I happen to come across every now and then; sometimes in metro, or in CCD, or in BCL.

While looking for novels in fiction section, I want you to be there, standing beside me, talking, searching for some good book, or just airing your views on this or that writer.

I miss you when I need to discuss, when I want to enjoy coffee or take a stroll in park.

I never shed a tear in front of you when you bid me goodbye while leaving for Singapore. But, I couldn’t stop those unruly drops when you have turned your back towards me. I sob as if something precious is being snatched away.

Once you have gone, for know not how many days I feel dejected, lonely, and utterly lost!

I weep in sleep, shudder with the feel of your absence…. Seven days of your India vacation make me smile through tears…

There are so many moments like these which I want to live with you.

Love You!